Slow Mail: Why I Left Facebook and What I’m Choosing Instead

“Your dad went golfing today. The weather was unseasonably warm; it’s probably the last round of the year. I visited East View Lodge and saw your grandmother. I took her out for lunch and a little drive so she could enjoy the changing leaves. It won’t be long until we’ll be pulling out the winter clothes. I suppose you’ve been busy with that huge garden of yours.”

Letter writing. Back in the days before the internet of things, we used to write letters to each other. I still have some that I kept from my mom and my grandmother, both long since passed. Their handwritten notes, with their unique cursive writing, is a gateway back into their lives and mine.  

They were moments in time, but who writes letters now? Almost no one. Email and messaging have taken over the correspondence we have with each other. Convenient, sure. And that change came gradually, until it became the rule, rather than the exception. But I’m wondering about the unintended loss, when we choose social media platforms, their algorithms and their promised connections, over more thoughtful and slow methods.

Technology has been the big change maker in how we live and work, and there’s no question that many of those changes have made our lives easier. However, technology has also added a level of complexity and pressures, that we weren’t prepared for, and that is now challenging us to make multiple decisions in and out of work.

Choosing to Whom and Where We Show Up

“The time one has to spend on social media amidst all the BS for near zero pay off is far too consuming and tiring and soul sucking. I’d rather develop real relationships.” Nathalie Bertin

This comment came as a reply to a post I’d made within a group for writers and authors. Specifically, I’d noted that after seeing several successful writers on Substack share how their writing is frequently shamelessly plagiarized, I was re-considering my presence there. When did disregard for the work of others become the norm, rather than the exception?

Knowing the time and effort to create a piece of work that is worthy of someone taking the time to read it, I couldn’t fathom how this could become such a rampant problem. But it is and as I look for new ways to get my writing in front of new people, I realized that I had some decisions to make. Exactly where did I want my writing to be found outside of my own site and what kind of people would I most like to have read it?   

Recently, that led me to the decision to delete my Facebook account.  It wasn’t a speedy decision, given the number of years and connections I’d made there, but over time I was posting less and was tired of the ads, not to mention my feelings about how Meta runs its business model. Despite being on the platform for 16 years, it no longer felt like a good place to be.  It didn’t fit my values system, and the cons outweighed the pros.

Post Facebook Breakup

Do I miss Facebook? Not really. I’m finding that without it, I’m more inclined to pick up one of the non-fiction books I have on the go or arrange for in-person get togethers and of course spend more time writing. Which might also extend in that letter writing I gave up years ago, since I love the idea of a slower way of connecting with those folks closest to me.  

I realize that “breaking up” with a platform in which you’ve spent years can be challenging, but there are alternatives. When I was in the deliberating phase about Facebook, I began as a beta tester for a new Canadian social media platform. I’ve been there for about 8 months, and it has an entirely different vibe and operating method. It’s called Gander and it’s where I found Ms. Bertin, a Metis creative in northern Ontario. It’s open to non-Canadians if you’re interested in checking it out, and no this is not an affiliate link, lol.

Our time is precious and so is our attention. The days of letter writing may be over, but our options of who and how we connect with others and how we spend our time, is still up to us. Unwinding yourself from the pressures of technology algorithms and finding ways to be present in the ways that are most meaningful to you, may be the biggest and best decision you’ll make for your overall happiness. I know that my life has improved with the changes.

 I do appreciate you taking the time to read my thoughts, and if you’ve made any changes to how you’re connecting with folks, professionally or personally, drop a comment. I’m interested in what you have to say. (And if you’re not a subscriber yet, and have the capacity, please subscribe, I’d love to have you here.)

It’s Never Too Late to Begin Again

January 1st, 2026, I seriously considered walking away from the idea to begin my creative pursuits again. Frankly, I’m at that stage of life when a lot of folks are planning to do less, and here I am, considering how to make time for more. Lunacy? Maybe. Some would say that, but I know that 11 years ago, the moment I hit ‘publish’ on my first blog, my life changed in ways I couldn’t have predicted.

So, January 2nd, I’m back and re-launching my blog, along with a whole lot more to share with you about what I’ve learned and am learning about how to live a self-directed, purposeful, meaningful, and happier life.

Since I am beginning again, you’ll see that my blog is captioned “ Lost to Found” and subtitled Frances Found, as that’s the original name of my business. Back in 2015, it perfectly captured my state of mind. After decades of meeting the needs and expectations of others, I was learning how to start defining what I wanted for the next chapter of my life, and the pathways I found to achieve those goals.

This blog will do more of the same.

Here’s what else you can expect:

• Stories of the interesting people I’ve met along the way. Folks who have determined their direction and continue to make a difference in the world. Some of these folks are doing that on the global stage, while others on the local. My hope is that by introducing them to you, you’ll start to formulate your own ideas about what you want and what is possible.  

• Tidbits from the book I’ll be writing this year. It’s my second Self-Leadership book, and along with some of that material, you’ll also get my usual reflections and thoughts about what I’m learning.

Thanks for being here, and if you want to get my posts regularly, subscribe. There’s no “paywall” to access my writing (no AI writing here either, by the way) just me, writing to you.