“To be more interesting, be more interested”. Dale Carnegie
A conversation with a kiteboarder led to some interesting knowledge about the sport.
How you apply the“be more interested” is a personal choice. Of course, there are all kinds of online opportunities but for me, it often involves chancing a conversation and asking a question.
Six years ago, I moved to a village on Lake Erie. It’s a tourist town, but it’s also home to fishing vessels. I grew up on the prairies of Western Canada, so this is an industry I know nothing about. When I had the chance to talk to a fellow on one of the fishing boats, I took it. Especially when I saw that he was also watching the progress of a fishing boat pushing through the ice-bound harbour and toward the lake. When I asked the man on the boat about this, he replied with a grin.
“He’s trying to get down to another port, but he’s going to have to get through the ice at the end of the river. His dad is going to be really mad.”
While we watched the fishing boat make several attempts to get through the ice, I asked another question about the fishing season itself. Since the ice-breaking seemed to have stalled, the fisherman was kind enough to explain when the season began and ended. He explained it was mandated by both the weather and the Ministry of Fishing. I enjoyed learning about the industry, because the information helps me feel more like a resident than a tourist.
As it turned out, the ice was too thick at the end of the breakwater for the intrepid captain, and he had to turn around. I can only imagine how he felt as he returned to the dock while the crowd of mostly men watched. I suspect that in addition to facing his father, he might have to endure the teasing of his fishing boat community.
The memory of that conversation is a good one, and I’ve many more. You could say I’m hooked on the process because, as a writer, it’s meant my discovery of doors to unknown worlds. Not to mention the occasional new friendship. For you, it could mean a new hobby, or simply understanding the world around you better.
I’ve clearly gotten past any potential discomfort talking to strangers, but there are other reasons that can get in the way.
The common obstacles to finding and having these conversations
Yes, I am going to say it - unplug. My cell phone is with me when I walk, in part because I use it to track my steps. Part of my initiative to get more fit. I also use the camera function, so I can capture what’s around me. The one thing I don’t use it for while I’m out walking is music or texting.
When I take my daily stroll or bike ride, I purposefully choose to be involved in what I am doing. That’s not to say that my mind isn’t ticking along, because after all, as a writer, observing leads to wondering, thinking, and often ideas.
The second most common reason for not exploring something new seems to be the fear of looking stupid or being embarrassed by what you don’t know.
When I had a conversation with a new acquaintance about asking questions when an unfamiliar topic arises, she shared that when her partner was working on his Master’s in philosophy, no one wanted to risk looking stupid in front of their peers. Imagine, for a minute, that you’re with a group of other people, also working in the same field, and staying quiet instead of saying, “Oh, tell me more.” Fear of a loss of status in an academic field? Maybe. Competition? Also, maybe. But also, a lost opportunity. Or at least, that’s how I see it.
It might also be as simple as living within a fixed mindset. This is the firm belief that we have a set of innate talents and skills. This belief, then, discounts the ability to learn something outside of your current skills, which, yes, does take effort. In the case of academics, apparently it’s not admitting what you don’t know in a specific realm.
How limiting and what a waste of bright and capable minds. Not just for themselves, but for all those with whom they interact. From new ideas to new sources of information that someone may have found. A business acquaintance called this a form of “information hoarding.” That sounds about right.
What You Have to Gain By Being Interested
When you are open to the people around you and their knowledge, the world itself becomes more interesting and full of possibilities. For yourself, and perhaps for others. You don’t have to be a writer to choose learning about others and reaping those benefits.
For instance, by asking questions within my little village, I’ve had the opportunity to learn about:
· The commercial fishing season
· How beaches can become more accessible for folks with disabilities
· Kiteboarding doesn’t require as much strength as you might think
· How a local woodworker sources his wood
What you’ll discover when you approach the world with attention, rather than the distraction of screens or worse, the fear of engaging, is a fascinating place filled with interesting people and worlds you don’t know exist. Who knows, this may bring you to your next hobby, or even your next friend. Certainly, my interactions and conversations have served to remind me that we are all containers of knowledge that others don’t have, and we can improve lives if we are willing to share.
It’s Monday, the start of a new week and the opportunity to begin something new. Here’s my challenge to you. Go out and be interested in those around you. Ask questions, find out what they are into. Then, I would love it if you would share here. Add to the collective knowledge, inspire others to explore and dig more deeply.
